


He Kept It For Six Months

by TheseWordsAreMyOwn



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Angst, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-29
Updated: 2015-10-29
Packaged: 2018-04-28 18:30:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,087
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5101214
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheseWordsAreMyOwn/pseuds/TheseWordsAreMyOwn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jemma's thoughts as she sits down to dinner with Fitz at the end of 3x03</p>
            </blockquote>





	He Kept It For Six Months

**Author's Note:**

> This contains spoilers for up to and including episode 3x05, so if you haven't watched it yet and don't want to know what happens, don't read.
> 
> I own nothing but my own imagination.

The restaurant was perfect. The company was perfect in the form of Fitz (as well as the lack of company of everyone else), and Jemma was trying, REALLY trying to act normal on their date (was it a date?) back out in normal civilization, and she thought that she was doing a pretty good job of it until the waiter spoke those few little words.

"We've been holding this reservation for months."

Jemma's mind momentarily went blank, with only one thought screaming through her head. _He kept the reservation!_

Despite her inner turmoil, Jemma calmly turned to Fitz. "You kept the reservation."

"Don't make a fuss, it's not a big deal," Fitz dismissed it, pulling a chair out for her like the gentleman Jemma already knew he was.

But it was a big deal. For Jemma it was a huge deal. Fitz had kept the reservation he had made six months ago which meant that in those six months, he had always kept the hope alive that one day he would find her. Jemma shrunk down in her chair a little, feeling as if a large weight was settling on her shoulders but she couldn't quite identify what that weight was.

They exchanged a little small talk, Jemma thanking Fitz for finding her although if she was honest with herself, she wasn't entirely grateful. Was she glad to be back on Earth, with her friends, the people she cared about, and away from that living hell that had been her home for the last six months? Absolutely, no question. But she could never be completely happy knowing that that freedom had come at a terrible price. Knowing that her coming home had cost her something precious.

"Have you decided what you'll be having?" the waiter interrupted them, and realising where they were, for the first time Jemma glanced down at the menu.

"Oh gosh. So much to choose from..."

Jemma's eyes skimmed down the menu and their dazzling array of selections, but try as she might to concentrate only on the delicious looking food on offer to her, on Fitz across the table from her and the wonderful date that he had set up for her, all she could think of was Will. The two of them had often fantasised about the food that they missed and what they would love to eat when they got back home, and now here she was, with more meals to choose from than she could possibly imagine and Will wasn't here to enjoy it with her.

"Maybe this will help," she heard Fitz say, and looking up she say him holding a glass of wine. "Shall we make a toast?"

The wine was the final straw. Remembering that horrible bottle of wine (vinegar to be more accurate) that she and Will had shared that last fateful day on Hell (as they not so affectionately called that desolate planet), sitting on the dunes waiting for the first sunrise they would have seen it what seemed like forever, she felt something crumble inside of her and tears welled up in her eyes. She barely heard Fitz ask the waiter to give them a few minutes but she was aware of him moving to sit beside her, his arm wrapping around her shoulders as she finally let the tears fall.

"I'm sorry," she gasped as she leaned against him, and while she knew that Fitz would think she was apologizing for her tears and spoiling their dinner, in her heart she knew she was apologizing for so much more. That unidentifiable weight that she had felt earlier she now recognized - it was combination of grief and guilt. Grief for everything that she had lost and had been taken from her: her home and her friends when she was transported to Hell; herself, and the person she was before she became this broken mess; and for Will who she had been forced to leave behind. She didn't even know if he was alive - was the gunshot she heard him killing that creature or was it Will turning it against himself like he said he would if he had no other way out? It's why she needed to go back, to know for sure what his fate was, but she knew she needed help to do it. And the one person who could help her do that was holding her right now.

And there was the source of her guilt: Fitz. Sweet, wonderful, caring Fitz. Her best friend, her other half, the man who kept her hope alive in those first few months of her exile, the man she once envisioned possibly sharing a future together. Which was why the one person, perhaps the only person, in the world who could help her find Will was the one person she couldn't turn to. He had been hurt so many times by people he cared about in the last couple of years, she couldn't bare to be the one to add to it - not again. Because Fitz had kept this reservation for six months. He loved her and this would devastate him.

Not that Jemma didn't love Fitz - she did, she really did. But she also loved Will. And she couldn't help but feel guilty for moving on, despite the logical part of her brain telling her that she was being silly for doing so. After all, it had been months on that planet, and she thought that she was never going home again - why wouldn't she move on with Will? Besides, it's not like she jumped into bed with him straight away - over the months they had grown to know each other, to care for each other, and after all hope of returning home - to Fitz - had seemed lost (and to be fair she felt like she had held out hope for a lot longer than most people would have) then yes, they eventually learned to love one another as well. And she had loved him - Will was a good, kind man who had been there and said the right things when she needed him the most and he had brought back the spark that she thought she had lost after their failed mission to send the bottle through the wormhole and all hope seemed lost. She didn't regret her time with Will, not at all.

Except Fitz had kept the reservation for six months. He had never lost faith that he would some day find her. He had waited for her.

And she hadn't.


End file.
